A conversation with my grandma.
First, though, a bit of background. My parents grew up in Magdalena, a very small town in New Mexico. The kind of town where everybody knows everybody else. They went all through school together. Their parents knew each other. They both went away after high school and then hooked up and got married. I never lived in Magdalena but spent many a summer vacation or Christmas break there with both sets of grandparents. Of the grandparents, only my dad's mom survives. And, she still lives there. My mom is the youngest, by far, of five children. I really don't know my oldest cousins on her side of the family at all. One of them, Tommy Gene, is probably at least 10 years older than I am. If he walked up to me wearing a name tag saying, "Hello, my name is Tommy Gene," it probably wouldn't occur to me that he was "my" Tommy Gene. I'd guess I was only about 10 years old the last time I saw him. Or 12, maybe. That's about 30 years ago and is just a guess. I really can't remember the last time I saw him.
Back to the conversation. I got home about 5 this evening and the phone rang about 5:30. Here's the conversation as best I can remember it. G is Grandma. J is me.
J: Hello.
G: Hi, it's me. I was hoping you'd be home.
J: Hi, Grandma! Always good to hear from you.
G: Well, I wanted to call you earlier but I had to be sure about the news and I didn't know if you'd be home. Tommy Gene had a massive heart attack this morning.
J: That's terrible. Where was he?
G: At home in Socorro.
J: I didn't know he was living in Socorro.
G: Oh, yes. He has been since he married <insert name I can't remember>.
J: Huh. I didn't even know he'd gotten remarried.
G: Yes. You remember, he married <insert name I can't remember>, Carlotta's daughter. I heard this morning that he'd had a heart attack but wasn't sure so I waited to call you until I knew for sure. Mercy called to check and it's true. So, I sent an email to your parents and then called you.
J: So, I guess you called Ginger and Roger?
G: Well, I'm sure Ginger knows since she's there with Mercy. I haven't called Roger yet.
J: So, is Tommy Gene in the hospital in Socorro? Or in Albuquerque?
G: Neither.
J: Neither? He can't be at home after a massive heart attack, can he?
G: No. He died.
J: Oh my gosh! That's terrible.
G: Yes. I don't know any of the arrangements yet or anything. I can't remember if he had any other family.
J: Well, of course, there's Tommy Roy. [Ed. note: Tommy Gene's son.]
G: Oh yes...of course.
J: So, how's Vera? [Ed. note: Tommy Gene's mother.]
G: I don't know. I ran into her outside the grocery store on Saturday but we didn't talk much. She was coming out and I was going in.
At this point, the conversation went off onto other topics. But, then, as we were getting ready to hang up, I came back to the subject of my cousin.
J: Well, I guess I'll send a note to Vera. I'm sure she's very upset about everything.
G: Vera? Why would you send her a note? Wait a minute! Did you think I was talking about Tommy Gene?
J: Well, yes.
G: No! I was talking about Tommy GREEN.
J: Who's Tommy Green? I don't know any Tommy Green.
G: I told you who he was. He was married to <insert name I can't remember>, Carlotta's daughter. [Ed. note: I believe Carlotta might be one of my father's cousins which would make the person who's name I can't remember (although it might be Stella) my second cousin.]
J: Well, geesh. I thought you were talking about Tommy Gene.
G: (starting to laugh) I wondered why you were asking about Vera!
J: (also laughing) Well, it was the logical person to ask about since her son had just died! And, I also mentioned Tommy Roy and you didn't say anything about that.
G: I don't remember that! Gosh, it's a good thing you mentioned him again before we hung up. That would have been terrible if you'd thought Tommy Gene was dead.
J: Indeed.
G: So, you don't even know who Tommy Green was? I thought you'd remember him.
J: Nope, Grandma. I have no idea who that was. Sorry.
We chatted for a few more minutes and then signed off. Too funny. Well, not to Tommy Green's family, I'm sure. But, this is typical for me and Grandma. There was a time, when I was in college and for a couple of years just after I got out, that every time I'd go visit her, someone in my father's extended family had died and I'd end up going to a funeral with her. It became somewhat of a joke for us. And, now she frequently calls to tell me when someone else has died. And, in general, I don't have any idea who she's talking about. In her mind, I grew up in Magdalena and know all of these people. But, really, I only visited. And, when I did, I really didn't hang out with anyone that wasn't a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or first cousin. Ah well...
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